Live the Un-Attitude

Mark 7:15

“It’s not what goes into your body that defiles you; you are defiled by what comes from your heart.”

This is a challenging verse for me. My devotion this morning delt with this verse and having a clean heart.  Jesus goes on in verses 20-23 and says,

“…It is what comes from inside that defiles ou. For from within, out of a person’s heart, come evil thought, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, wickedness, deceit, lustful desires, eny, slander, pride, and foolishness. All these vile things come from within; they are what defile you.”

So, all of these things stem from your heart. If your heart isn’t clean and pure then this is what comes out of you. You can look good and like you have it all together on the outside but what does the aroma of your heart smell like? When Jesus mentioned murder, adultery, or theft I wasn’t surprised because we obviously know those things are vile, but I didn’t really consider the “hidden sins” that don’t show on the outside. The sins we fight with on the inside such as: envy, greed, lustful desires, and pride to name a few. I think about my daily struggles with always wanting more and never being content with what I already have. Seeing what someone else has and needing it too. Looking at another man and letting your mind wander. And too be so caught up in myself and so worried of what someone might think of me that I don’t put myself out there and do what I know I need to be doing. I know that I keep myself hidden or put on a show so that other people around me don’t really know what is going on in my heart. Another one that I didn’t really think of is Arrogance. How many times a day do I measure myself up to those around me and say “Well at least I’m not that bad or Well at least I don’t look like that.” When really is someone was to look at what was going on in my heart I think they would probably pass out because of the disgusting aroma radiating off of it. In my devotional they asked the question: What would it look like to take those definitions and clean them up?

·         Un-Arrogance: a gracious display of selflessness

·         Un-envy: being completely content with all of our blessings

·         Un-greed: a desire to share what God has given to us

Doesn’t that sounds like a clean heart to you? Doesn’t that sound like what Jesus would want to be in our heart? Don’t you think that would draw people to us because they would wonder how these things are possible? Wouldn’t your light shine bright instead of just flickering about to burn out?

I have challenged myself to have the Un-attitude so what comes out of my heart is clean. It’s not going to be easy, but I know that My Jesus will be smiling down at me. I don’t want what comes out of me to stink….I want it to smell attractive and just like fresh clean laundry!!!

Psalm 51:10

“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”

Matthew 12:34

“ For whatever is in your heart determines what you say.”

Everytime I come back to you..

Psalm 40:1-3

"I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. He had given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what he has done and be amazed. They will put their trust in the Lord."

Right now I have a lot of heart issues. I constantly find myself coming back to the Lord for my strength. I am so ready for things to start happening in my life,  but it doesn't seem like they are going to happen anytime soon. It frustrates me. I get so discouraged but I know that God is there and he has me in his arms. His arms are my favorite place to be. I have so many wants and desires, but I want to be in God's will. I know his plans for me are the best and I know that it will happen when it's suppose to and when I least expect it. So much is happening in our lives it's hard to keep up with. My family is changing so much! My littlest brother just left for the Marine Corps...I am so proud of him!!! My other little brother is married and has two beautiful girls....they make my heart so happy! My sister is married now to a wonderful man and is expecting a little one too...the excitement of being an auntie is overwhelming. My littlest sister is already in High School and it makes me feel so old. We live in North Dakota and are on our own. Exciting things are happening and it's just crazy. God is at work and I can't wait to see what he has planned! I know that he is my rock and he is where my trust lies. I have an awesome friend and a little boy that calls me auntie...he makes me so happy. He brought me flowers he picked yesterday in our field of dandelions and it was so precious! God's creation is so awesome!! Who could ever doubt that there is a God? I guess I just have a heavy heart lately and miss everyone. My heart is very hopeful!

Trusting in the one who is in control!!!

Proverbs 16:9  "We can make our plans, but God determines our steps."

Proverbs 16:33 " We may throw the dice, but the Lord determines how they fall."

During my reading yesterday I read these two verses and they hit me deep! My husband and I are going through some life changes and we really don't know what the future holds for us. It's exciting but at the same time scary and frustrating. Right now as we speak...we live in a RV in a small town in the middle of the Baaken Oilfield Boom. My husband is a Roustabout and has bigger dreams beyond that. We are 25 and 26 and are ready to start our family. We had a miscarriage last summer and ever since then we have felt the need/desire to bring a child into this world into our family. We have been really busy with life and all the changes that are taking place and trying to settle ourselves down here in the the Great North Dakota. We have just decided that we want to try or make some effort in the process. Well, since all of this has been happening it seems like everyone except us are getting pregnant. Everyday it seems like it is someone new. I am excited for them because it's a new life and babies are just exciting in and of themselves, but I find myself getting jealous. I find myself getting mad at God. I am always asking God "Why not us?" "What are we doing wrong?" and so many other questions. My husband is struggling and it makes me sad. I get excited about pregnancies especially in my family, but my husband gets angry. I try to tell him that God has a plan and that it will happen when God knows that we are ready, but it seems to make him more mad. He always asks me..."Why can't it be us? Why do all these things happen to all these other people and not us? I've been praying and God just doesn't answer my prayers. Is he ignoring me?" It's hard. I don't like feeling negatively, but when I hear my husband's heart hurt like this it starts making the jealousy and the anger stire inside me. I don't like it. Yesterday when I was reading my bible and these two verses came up it was like God was trying to tell me..."Jessica it is all in my timing...just trust me!" So that is what I am doing. I know that eventually when we least expect it, it will happen and our prayers will be answered! God has our best in mind at all times and that is one of the most comforting things to know! I absolutely love it!! God is good and he is at work in our lives!!! For now I will just enjoy being an Auntie!!! It's a blast anyways!!!!

Jonah and the Vine

So a new challenge for this week. Are you marching right on by or are you stopping to enjoy the party? We talked about the last part of Jonah in church on Sunday and it was really challenging. Since moving to Williston the local people don't really like what is going on here. They think it is unfair that they didn't have a vote in all of it. I totally undersatnd that too because back home I hated the summer time because of all the tourists and traffic was horrible.  Here you can't go to walmart and be in and out. Matter of fact you can't go anywhere and be in and out. You are always waiting in line and you are always getting cut off or they are out of stuff....customer service isn't thebest here either. And so much more! But anyways i was really challenged this weekend. Mostly about my attitude and how I treat those around me. At the end of Jonah when God gives Jonah the plant he gets mad when God sends the worm to get rid of the plant. We were asked 3 questions
 - Where have you missed God's work because it wasn't what you expected, or maybe what you wanted?
 - Where have you built a shelter to justify staying out of God's party?
 - What "plant" have become more important than people?
Jonah chose to leave the party and sit in the desert instead of staying and enjoying God's party. It's really sad actually. The things we let get to us and that cause us to keep marching. Time for me seems like the biggest one. We are always in a hurry these days. We never take the time to stop and listen to what God is saying or to the stories that are all around us. We have such a HUGE mission field here in Wiliston. All it takes is stopping in line and chatting with someone or letting someone over while we are driving. Change is all over the place and whether we want it to or not it is going to come at some point in our lives. I head this quote from Max Lucado
        "Change is not only a part of life, change is a necessary part of God's strategy. To use us to change the world, he alters our assignments."
Man, isn't that true. Never would I have ever thought that I would be livng in North Dakota, but God is at work here and we get to be a part of it. God has a way of doing the unexpected!!! And you never know who God is going to put in your path. You just have to be open and let God work! Nothing is Impossible with God! Be Intentional!

Bit of a ramble...

I don't really have anything to write today. My husband is getting ready to start a new battery, so I am trying to take advantage of the extra time I get every day with him. As soon as it starts his work days will start at 6:00am and end at 10:00pm. LOOOOONNNGGG DAAAYYSSS!!!! Thank the Lord for work tho! Also, we finally ventured to the Sweeto Burrito truck. It was the BEST! I had the Buff Chic! It was heavenly! lol. Oh the things that entertain us in North Dakota. Hoping to go and see the Hunger Games movie sometime in the next week! I have been waiting for so long! I am just at a loss of words today...I think it's because I am so sick. I got this yummy Chocolate Mint tea from the coffee shop and it is wonderful! Can't wait for church on Sunday. I look forward to it every week. Then I'm thinking about going to a couponing class on Sunday as well. I think it would be really good. Help save more money! I'm all about that these days! Can't wait for my husband to get off work! I just want to be wrapped in his arms!!! Yeehaw!!! The best feeling EVER!

Jonah and the BIG fish...

It’s been interesting because my husband and I have been talking about why God has brought us here? What is he going to do with us? Why North Dakota? Well I think that it is beginning to become apparent as to why we are here. Since we got here we were dying to go to church . It was a part of our life that we really missed. That time together growing in God’s word and being challenged by other believers. I had been looking and asking around and really praying about where we should attend. Well, since I’ve been here the church New Hope kept coming to mind. I really wanted to try It out but I was afraid that my husband would just shoot me down. It’s hard to replace a church back home that you really like and you feel feeds you with a new church that you know nothing about. Well, I prayed about it and we talked about starting to find a place and I ran into a couple from our home church back home and the husband told me that they are going to New Hope and that they really liked it and it reminded them a lot of our church back home. So I said…Okay we are going to take that next step and go to church on Sunday! Saturday night we were over at our friend’s house. John has been really talking with his friend about God and what he is doing in his life and marriage and how a husband is suppose to treat his wife and what God would want for them as Christian men. It was really cool to hear all about that. Anyways, that night we went over to their house and we just got on the subject about our relationship with Christ and what it meant to us to be believers and what we believed. It was challenging but reassuring because I knew that God was there! Well, our friends have been here for a little over a year and have never gone to church here. His wife had only gone to church 4 times in her life! So it was really awesome to hear them say they want to go with us. It was an answer to John’s prayers too because he’s been trying to find a way to invite his friend to come with him to church. So that next day (Sunday) we all drove in the same truck to church and when we got there Pastor Mike was talking about Jonah. What an amazing book of the bible! It reminded me of my own journey here! Lol. Williston was like Nineveh in my mind. Semi trucks, drugs, outrageous crime, girls going missing, nothing to do, unbearable negative below zero weather, John working long hours, and all the other stuff you can think of. I did not want to go. But in my heart I kept hearing God saying “Go Jessica” and of course I kept saying “No God I am comfortable here and I don’t want to go to a unknown place. I’m good thanks!” Then one day I was sitting at work and all of a sudden I had peace in my heart. I finally surrendered “my” wants and desires for what God wanted me to do. What a wonderful feeling!!! That first sermon Pastor Mike gave was about just that. How Jonah was willing to die because he didn’t want to go to Nineveh and God kept telling him to Go and Jonah kept telling him No. When Jonah finally went…with the help of God and the big fish he got to see incredible things start to happen. Everything he imagined could happen, but  just the opposite actually happened. He was blessed. Then the pride crept in and he was embarrassed to go back to his home town because he told them that he was going to go there and God was going to destroy all of the people of Nineveh and instead they were all saved! Lol. Man, the power of God is incredible! Pastor Mike said a line that really made me think, “God is a god of second chances, NOT a god of short-cuts!” Isn’t that true! He really challenged us to ask ourselves where our level of God is. Are we full or are we empty? What are we doing to make our level of God full? Our level of love increases as we spend time in God’s presence. Amen to that!!!

Emotions felt...

Lately I have been thinking about how Oil Patch wives feel. I know how I feel when my husband is working horribly long hours and you just don't know when he will be home. It reminds me a lot of the Marine Corps. He is not in charge of the hours he works. We are here to pay off debt and make a better life for our future children. We are here making sacrifices we know will be blessed in the long run. But anyways...I was just trying to compile some daily emotions I feel and I know my other girls out there feel and give some kind of encouragement to make it a little easier to deal with.

Loneliness: Having your husband away for long periods at a time (especially you gals that are living in another state...I admire you!). I think of that verse in the bible where God says "I will never leave you nor forsake you." I hold tight to that because that means he is always with me and I am never alone. Such an awesome feeling!
                    I think loneliness is also caused by the lack of other gals that are going through the same things you are. Feeling the same emotions you are feeling. I know I struggle with this because I am new to the area and I just haven't had a chance to meet anyone. When your husband is working long hours and you are not working it gets lonely and the days seem to drag. You can only watch so many movies and read so many books. It's not safe here to go anywhere by myself. Just having some gals that can relate would be awesome! I know in time it will come, but for now it adds to my loneliness. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 "Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken."

Anxiety: I feel this everyday when my husband is out at locations and there is gases in the air and at any time the whole battery could blow and that means he could possibly die. One day he told me a story that his gas detector started beeping and they just kept working instead of taking safety measures. Boys...I tell you what. Here I think of Philippians 4:6-7 "^" Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." This is one of my favorite verses!!!!

Courage: I find you have to have lots of courage. There are alot of crazies out there and you have to have courage to walk out your door. I have to have courage to meet other wives and become friends. I have to have courage to go and get me a new job. You have to have courage to let your husband leave again and again to go and provide for your family. Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.

I know there are more and I will add them as I think of them but these were the ones that came to mind right away.  The sun is shining outside and it is so warm. I don't know how I would do this without God. He is my rock and my strength! With him ALL things are possible!!!

In the Beginning...

 Life is always crazy. The noise is never ending. The people are always coming and going. Long hours. The extreme highs and lows of North Dakota weather. It's the normal day in my life these days. We are long term campers. lol. Our home that we once knew dwindled down to fit inside of an RV. My husband, our dog Mojo, and Me. I love our simply life. Everyday is something new. Very unpredictable. I am learning to find joy in even the most simplest of tasks. God is there and he constantly reminds me that I am NOT alone. Much of this life is like the military life that we once lived. My husband works long hours, is "on call" on the weekends, and you get to meet people from all over the United States. Crazy as it sounds I love this life. I feel like God has led us here for some kind of specific reason. The reason unknown right now, but I am sure it will be revealed in time. It has huge opportunity for mission work here too. The amount of people that need Jesus is heartbreaking, but I know that slowly one by one will come to him and find their true happiness! What is God going to do with my little family? What does he want us to learn? How is he going to use us? It's exciting to think about what is possible with God because "Nothing is impossible with God"!
 Today I was reminded of how quick things can change in a matter of minutes. I was at the laundry mat and in comes 3 cops and a guy in handcuffs. He was there doing his laundry and walked outside to his truck and was surrounded by two cop cars. Crazy. He was accused of theft...someone had called in his truck stolen. I don't know if he was innocent or not but it was SO crazy. I just said a little prayer for him. That's all I could think to do. He needed it! God's grace is AMAZING!!!!
 Now I sit at the coffee shop downtown and watch people and wonder where they came from and what are their stories. God has created people so different. Not one person is exactly the same as another. I wonder what has brought them to Williston out of all places. Maybe one of these days I will have to ask them to tell me their story. Hmmm...it could be really interested!
 We have started going to church as of Sunday. We brought our neighbors that are also from Idaho and it was so awesome to worship with friends. We learned about Jonah and how he was afraid to go to Nineveh (sp?) and he was more willing to die than go and do what God wanted him to do in that town. Jonah kept saying "No" and God kept saying "Go". It hits a personal noted because that is how I was with coming to North Dakota. I didn't want to leave the place that I only knew as home. My comforts. I was afraid, but God put peace in my heart and I finally said "Yes"! God has truely blessed our decision and I can't wait to see what God is going to do!!!! He is at work and he can do great things!

 Until next time....Bless all that read this!